Waffle House Rules

by David Saussy

bicycle chain

“Flying Dutchman” Captures First  Two Stages of Tour du Donaldson

(Greenville, SC) Rene Quadt, darling of the staffs of the local Motel 6 and Waffle House in this quaint northwestern SC community, continued his assault on the southeast asphalt this weekend, building a commanding lead in the Greenville Spring Training Series. Quadt dominated the 53-man Cat 4 field in both the 28 mile Donaldson Road Race on Saturday and the 22 mile Donaldson Circuit Race on Sunday

His quest for the top spot on the podium began inauspiciously on a cold Saturday morning, the gray skies threatening rain, plotting race strategy as he downed a double stack of waffles to steel himself against the worsening weather. The forecast for showers proved accurate, and the skies opened up as the riders lined up to start the day’s first race. Quadt, fortified by the Waffle House “secret syrup,” remained undaunted, noting “this is just like back home in Holland, what are you wussy boys complaining about.” Early in the first lap, several riders attacked in an obvious attempt to end the misery early.  Ever the savvy rider, Quadt recognized that there was no way they could stay off the front in the howling headwinds on the backstretch of the course. He was proven right as a lackluster effort by the remainder of the peloton reeled in the breakaway before the end of the penultimate third lap.

The fourth, and final lap saw no concerted breakaway attempts, and Quadt took this to his advantage, positioning himself towards the front of the pack, cleverly using the less experienced cyclists to his right for protection from the crosswinds as the peloton rolled towards the finish.  When several riders began an early sprint with 500+ meters to go, Quadt grabbed a good wheel, allowing the leaders to expend themselves, then launched his ferocious sprint with just under 100 meters to go, taking the victory decisively. Several members of opposing teams we heard to comment that they’d tried to grab his wheel, but could not hang on. Little did they know that this would be the tone for the rest of the weekend, and likely the remainder of the series.

Sunday, the day of the circuit race dawned cold, but clear. Quadt, poorly rested due to nightmares induced from a late evening watching “Boogie Nights,” was nevertheless optimistic. Surely the bright sun presaged a warm day and another good race. Thus assured, he opted for only a single waffle with “secret syrup,” consumed while basking in the adulation of Waffle House employees for his victory the previous day. At the start line, Quadt chatted amiably with the other competitors, getting down to business once the peloton was sent on its way. Little of note happened early in the nine lap race, Quadt was content to sit in the peloton, marking the stronger riders as they attacked after turns and on the hills, and avoiding the many squirrelly members of the pack. Later in the race, there were several individual attempts to break away, with one four man break forming briefly on the 6th lap. None of these were to be successful as the pack responded and easily reeled each break back into the fold.

On the final lap, Quadt determined that trouble would be brewing through the S-turns at the approach to the final sprint. Thus he moved to the front of the pack and broke away early, using his time trial prowess to maintain his lead. Quadt crossed the line 20 meters ahead of the nearest rider, leaving those sprinting for 10th so stunned that they piled up in a huge crash 100 meters from the line.

Having demonstrated that there is no way to beat riding smart and riding strong, Quadt picked up his second paycheck. Race organizers Lucy Foxworth and Kevin Underwood commented that they were going to set up a direct deposit account for him to collect next week’s winnings. David “Decoy Boy” Saussy, Quadt’s domestique was heard to say, “I’m just proud to carry his water bottle.” Next week is sure to be “Fear and Loathing In Greenville” for Quadt’s competitors as a large contingent of Spin Cycle racers descend upon Donaldson to help him defend his title and get a little bit for themselves.  Stay tuned.

Page maintained by Tom Sheffield and last revised on Tuesday, March 07, 2000.
[ NCBC home page ]